There comes a point in time when you feel like you just want to give up. When you have been trying to deal with something and it keeps getting worse instead of better. When you want to walk away and not deal with it anymore. But then you realize that your child really needs you. You and your husband are the only people who can advocate for him.
The last few weeks have been extremely difficult. In School Suspension became the regular. We were confused and lost as to what to do. I broke down and cried. Cade was sent home early from school a few days and then given Out of School Suspension.
Be the advocate.
I decided it was time to request an IEP Evaluation and went in to meet with school officials. Something was causing our happy-go-lucky child extreme frustration and we needed to figure it out. We agreed the school set him up with schedules so he knew what was coming next and more fidget tools to help him get through the day.
You see, our son was switched from Ritalin, 10 mg 3 times a day to Adderall, 10 mg 3 times a day because he needed a dosage increase and the doctor thought it would be best to try a different medication instead. Cader became unrecognizable.
Medication works for some but not others.
Some call it ‘Madderall’ for a reason. Don’t get me wrong, it works great for some people but everyone is different. Cade has never been exceptionally defiant but now he was. He refused to do anything he didn’t want to do. If he was having difficulties in school, he would throw chairs or push over desks. This child hates being teased about being different so he makes an effort not to hurt anyone’s feelings but the things that were coming out of his mouth were hurtful.
He said ‘I hate myself.’
One night at bedtime, Cade said, “I hate myself. I just want my old brain back.” Then, he started hitting himself. We knew something had to change and it needed to be NOW.
We got his medication switched yet again. This time he is on Vyvanse. An extended release tablet that he only has to take once a day. Our son told us he feels better during the day and even makes other kids laugh.
Calls from the school have gone down from multiple a day to 0. I repeat… calls have gone down to ZERO.
Bedtime is still an issue. He has been throwing things at my husband and me when we say it’s time for bed. He literally screams bloody murder when we try to talk to him.
Get help. Use your resources.
There is an organization called South Dakota Parent Connection that we were put in touch with. A counselor has been assigned to us and is sending us information to help get us through. We are also looking into behavioral therapies and parenting advice for special needs children.
This is a long journey and the IEP process takes 25 days. I am pretty sure I told my husband 2 times already this week that I can’t do it anymore. I then cried and prayed. Woke up the next day and started all over again because my child needs me. No one else is going to do for him what we can. We are the only ones who can stand up for him and give him the help he needs.
If you are going through something similar, know that you are not alone. There are others with your struggle Momma. Hang in there. There will be days you will want to give up but you also know you never will. You are a fighter.